Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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