"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
