it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
