I love black thongs
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
