So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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