I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
