She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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