I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
