At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
