all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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