just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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