I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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