she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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