Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
