just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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