We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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