I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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