I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
