im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
