that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She even gives head with a lisp.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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