but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
