I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
