I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
