I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
