Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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