Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
