In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
