i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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