My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
