come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
two words...techno handjob
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
