doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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