You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
