your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
