woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
