literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
