i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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