I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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