I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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