who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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