So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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