Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
