According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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