My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
