great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize