i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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