I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
