i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A bitchslap is in order.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
