wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
