yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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