Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
