Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
