The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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