i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
