Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
