Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
