There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
