I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
