we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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