So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
