At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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